I want to talk about something that I've not really posted about much on social media before, and not really spoken to many people about in person, mainly because I've been too embarrassed by it. Since a young age, I have suffered quite badly from a stutter and stammer. I'm not really sure why, and I guess I won't ever really know, but it did have an effect on my communication and confidence growing up. I posted a short overview of my Instagram - @keenan_tully (shameless plug).
It's one of the worst feelings in the world, trying to get a word out, or a sentence and just nothing comes out. Or trying to say the same word about 6 times before you can say it clearly. It's definitely one of the things I was bullied for during primary and high school, as well as my weight and size at the time. It ruined my confidence, and it's one of the reasons why I grew up being the kid in the corner, away from everyone, because if someone wanted to talk to me, I knew I would struggle to talk to them back.
I finally managed to keep it under control after I lost around 100lbs when I was 16. That massively grew my confidence and had a huge effect on my communication. I was finally starting to be able to speak a bit more clearly, and just have confidence in what I wanted to say, and around 70% of the time I could get most words out without much issue. That doesn't mean I don't suffer from it anymore, because I do. It often creeps back, especially when speaking to a group, or someone new. I remember when I met 2 times NASCAR Cup Champion, Bobby Labonte, at the Autosport International Show, and nearly every single word I was trying to say to him, took about 5 attempts to even say. It was horrible! And you could tell he was sort of trying to cut the conversation short, whether to save me from embarrassment or not, I'm not sure, but the rest of the day after that definitely sucked. My first chance of speaking to an ex NASCAR champion, and I basically blew it.
Racing helped a lot, though. Being able to just throw my helmet on, not have to worry about speaking to people, and focus on racing, just gave me that release I needed. I'm happy to say now though that instead of trying to shy away from speaking to people, I try my hardest to speak to everyone I can, and instead of walking away from my problem, tackle it face on, and if people question it or find me weird because of it, who cares? I am who I am. I hope one day though that it won't be an issue that I will have to deal with, I feel like I would have grown out of it by now though.
One thing I've learned is to never shy away from your problems, always tackle them, because the second you shy away from them, the worse they get, and the more they build up inside of you.
What I'm hoping to do for the 2021 season is to spread awareness about stuttering, and show people how motorsports have been my coping mechanism, and how it could potentially help other people. I hope to partner with an organization/business for the 2021 season, and hopefully beyond, to share my story and help others.
